I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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