She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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