he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
