So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just google imaged poop.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
