if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You need Xanax blowdarts
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
