You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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