i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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