she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
