just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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