I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm passing your future prison.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
