dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
