Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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