Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize