life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
