does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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