dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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