How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Is it penis luge time yet?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize