11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
