from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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