I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
