her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I want her autograph on my taint
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize