S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
