I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
