im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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