She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
