Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
