Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he fucked my hip out of place.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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