This is not my ceiling
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
