I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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