K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
