I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
