I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
