the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
