He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
