I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
