i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
