She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
