go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
