His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
