Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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