uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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