That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
