Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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