Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
