Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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