shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize