his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
