i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
