i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
