We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
