Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
