these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
