why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize