i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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