you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
