How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
