Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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