one word: firstdatebathroomanal
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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