We're facebook friends in real life
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
