3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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