I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
