my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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