with your own penis?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Randomize
